One day I’ll be thankful too…

rain

I can’t remember for how long…it seemed like an eternity…I just stood there, on the cold, wet bench in the park, with leafs and cold rain drops falling over me…Dark sky above me, dark thoughts inside…

I know that children get sick and catching a flu is natural in this cold weather…and I know that a house can get messy, things all around…and I know they need me…but…Lord…I’m tired, didn’t get much sleep, haven’t got the time to eat…and I turned to him for comfort…and…once again…he’s tired and frustrated too…I just need to feel loved…just a little bit…

I don’t know how did he find me there, since the bench was pretty isolated…and I can’t explain this joy I’m feeling inside when I see him…

-Christian!

-Hey…you forgot your umbrella again? Here, take mine…you’re frozen! Come on, let’s go somewhere nice and warm…

I need fresh air…just for a minute…

He’s putting his arms around me and all I can do is to close my eyes and pray this is more than a dream. I feel his fingers through my hair…

-What’s that? Oh, I hope I didn’t break it…

My silver necklace…St. Benedict medal..I always wear it in my moments of dark…just a reminder that someone, somewhere…still loves me…

-That’s my…

-This is a Saint Benedict medal! Why on earth are you wearing such thing? You know, there’s a thin line between…are you aware of the significance of this?

Saint Benedict medal is a symbol of the fight against evil. People also wear this medal sometimes when they’re praying for an easy, painless way of dying. Still, the power is NOT in the medal itself, but in the faith and love we’re carrying in our souls.

-And why is this bothering you?

-Because you deserve more than this blind faith in something that never answered, never proved to be real!

And I can’t take it anymore…

-Let’s make things clear, Christian! Tolerance is a two ways street. Don’t think I didn’t noticed how you never miss a chance to say a bad word…and don’t think I didn’t noticed that tattoo of yours, with the black sun! Yes, I did! Next time you attack my faith, be prepared to defend yours!

-Okay.

And he walks away.

Abandoned and alone, here I am, in the cold November rain, still refusing to cry, still not able to go home, still willing to believe…

It felt like forever…

The smell of something sweet and his warm touch.

-I brought you…this.

A chocolate cookie…

-I bought it from the bakery across the street…I don’t know if you like it…

-It’s perfect…thank you. And forgive me…

-I kicked myself for talking like that to you…is just that…

No, it’s my fault and only! I sounded so arrogant and superior like I’m some kind of preacher when I’m just a lost soul…filled with doubts and fears…And I’m so thankful, so grateful to have you in my life…

-Please let me say it…One day I’ll be thankful too. I will believe too. But for now, I need this anger, I need this rage…to keep myself alive. This is my way of surviving.

Tears are running down my cheeks.

I guess you’re smarter than me…my way of surviving was always Love. Look where it brought me…

He takes me in his arms.

Love is a two ways street too, just like tolerance. I need you…but you need to go home…And one day, when all this rage will be just a wild memory…I will be thankful too. 

 

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Let me take you far away…

ad_1191455281I never had a proper sense of danger…

Isn’t it a bit silly, to just stand here, on a broken bridge, in the middle of the storm?

He put his arms around my shoulders while the raging sea was washing away any trace of reason, any instinct or intuition of self-defense…I smiled in a deep gratitude for these warm, loving arms, but I wasn’t going to take any step back…into the safety of the dry land…

Come with me, I’ll take you home, this is too wild, too cold…

I am home. This is how I’m used to be…one step in the unknown and salty water on my face. This is where my heart feels safe. Beyond this, I’m bound to the emptiness of the white walls of my love. Beyond this, I’m unable to breath and I’m helpless…He left me broken, scared, confused and alone. And here…here is where I found my safe place…

Aren’t you afraid to stand here all alone? Contemplating the raging waves and risking a wrong step? Aren’t you tired of waiting?

No…not if I have a chance, just a little chance to see…

Oh, silly girl, what are you expecting to see? Can’t you realize that the black clouds became one with the dark waters? And your horizon is forever gone into the swirling winds? Will you ever see more than madness and despair?

I’ll see him…he’ll conquer the wildness and he’ll rule over any storm. He’ll come after me and he’ll take me far away…I’m safe here because I can hope and I can wait. And he will come…

What if he’s already here?

Is it in the warmth of his smile? Or in the light of his eyes? These butterflies inside me, this feeling of spring…Can you do it for me? Would you bring life into my white desert if I need it so much?

Why don’t you find out for yourself, my brave little angel?

He leans over and kisses my salty lips…

And all of the sudden…

There’s light…and faith…and hope…

There’s love…

Let me take you far away. You were meant to fly high and I promise…

I’m gonna love you like there’s no tomorrow and still, beyond any contradiction, like we’re everlasting and immortal. 

Because there isn’t. Because we are.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That was when I ruled the world…

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Who would have known that perfection can be so devastating? 

I didn’t understood her words. Whispered words, like talking to herself. In my own world, the main rule was surviving. And that didn’t included analyzing someone’s perfect life. None of my business…

She laughed.

I’m being silly, right? But today was the happiest day of my life. I guess I’m allowed to play a little. Wanna see my happy smile?

I mumbled something. A sort of yes and no at the same time. I couldn’t care less for her happiest day. Good for her! Rule number two: if they’re happy, let them be.

She smiled with bright, glorious eyes.

It’s not like every day you’re winning a beauty pageant, right? Imagine a huge stage and, when they called my name, all eyes were on me! I never felt so…Hey, let me show you the crown!

I looked at her trying to show just a little enthusiasm. I couldn’t. Half-smile from half-heart. The rest of me was frozen. “You have inner beauty, that’s more important than being pretty.” That’s what my dad said when I asked him if I’m beautiful. I hated him. Rule number three: If you can’t say something nice, keep the silence. So, I’ll be silent…

She sighted.

I felt like I’m in top of the world! You know the feeling? Have you ever felt like you rule the world? 

I excused myself, saying that I’m in such a hurry…In fact, I never knew the feeling. I was always like a falling leaf, carried by a wicked wind…Rule number four: Don’t speak about what you don’t know!

She wiped away an imaginary tear.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I shouldn’t feel so tired. I was there, on the stage and I had this crazy sensation like I need air. Like something was suffocating me, but it was…from inside of me. And I felt like crying and people believed they’re tears of joy…

Yeah, probably…(Rule number five: be polite but don’t be nosy. Stay away if it’s none of your business.)

…and they started to applaud. And I felt…lost. What could it be? Am I catching a cold? Oops…the elevator is here! Gotta fly like a pretty butterfly to the seventh floor! See you upstairs…hey, do you know you have amazing eyes? You could be a beauty queen yourself! 

She ran away so fast that I couldn’t say thank you. She said I have amazing eyes! And she said I could be a beauty queen! And I knew, right then, right there…The feeling. This is how it feels when you rule the world. A fifteen years old world!

A few hours later I was writing in the diary. The daily post. Entitled “I had the feeling that I’m ruling the world!”. I was just writing an inspirational ending when I heard a knock on my closed door.

With trembling hands, all pale and crying, my mother asked me to “don’t look down”

“down?”

“down the balcony…they found her…what’s left of her anyway.”

“her?”

“you know her…the girl from the seventh floor…it looks like she jumped.”

“jumped?”

“just…please don’t look down. It’s a terrible sight…I can’t understand…she just won another beauty pageant…”

“beauty?”

“oh, you’re in shock…actually, is not that shocking…she tried before, with pills, but her mother said it’s just…teenage moods…it seems that she was depressed…”

“depressed?”

“please stop repeating the words. Yes, she was diagnosed with depression…but a very tricky form, because she was always happy and smiling and laughing around here…okay, go back to your home works or whatever were you doing…”

Rule number…

No. The Absolute Rule, cancelling all the rules ever made up by human minds:

Listen to the desperate call of the lost butterflies. Love them. Don’t let them walk alone when they’re so close to the edge. Love them again. Say it a thousand times and say it out loud. 

So they would ask for help before it’s too late…

 

Just breakaway (Out of the darkness!)

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The stage was set and the little girl walked right to the microphone. All lights were on her and her hands were trembling. I thought she’ll drop the microphone. I thought she’ll run away. I prayed she would…

He’s holding my hand and I’m squeezing his fingers too hard so he pulls off. I don’t want to witness this but I can’t turn my head this time. I feel guilty…I tried, I really did…but I was called “out of fashion” and “envious” and “jealous” and “with absolutely no taste when it comes to music” and “just a country girl” (I kinda liked the last one).

Yes, they said all these words. The proud parents of the little girl dressed in a black leather dress, with a make up that makes her look tired and cheap. With a black choker way too similar to a collar. I was out of line, I admit. I threatened to call the Child’s Care and they laughed. I spoke about morality and about protecting her image and they ignored me.

Then I used big words like abuse. Emotional abuse. About endangering this innocent child. About using her as a tool to get more fame and money. About selling her soul and her life along with theirs.

“What’s wrong with you? Are you a fanatic? She’ll perform her number just like she was taught to!”

The girl heard me and she started to cry. I made a child cry right before the big show…Yes, I do feel guilty…

He feels the same, even if he doesn’t express it that abruptly. I know he does…I take his hand into mine, looking for comfort…He’s cold as ice.

-How can they expose…

He turns to me and the anger in his eyes leaves me speechless.

-Look, I’m tired of your complaints. I didn’t wanted to come here, you dragged me! But you can’t simply relax and enjoy the show, do you? No. You need to argue, to create drama, to get all the attention!

And he walks away…

I’m here all alone with my tears and my betrayed sense of justice. I’m so sorry…I’m not an attention-addict monster…I’m not a drama queen…I’m just…Just me, the same as I always was. And losing him hurts more than losing any fight for justice. So I surrender…

The little girl sings with a lost voice. Not really wanting to be there. But you know…the show must go on…

Or not.

A harsh sound just interrupted the show. Something’s wrong with the sound. The microphone just became dysfunctional. And my phone is beeping…

I’m an idiot. But, when you cry, I get angry. I want to fix it, whatever it is. So, stupid me, instead of fixing,  I destroyed. If you can forgive me…I’m right outside. 

PS: It will take a while for them to find out…what caused the damage of the sound system, but still…hurry up.

PS2: You with the talking, me with the breaking…we’re still an incredible team, aren’t we, babe?

Yes, we truly are.

That sweet, old fashioned notion

tango_dancing_couple_by_naderdes-d4ygtxiThere was a flame in his eyes and no way to deny it. He could easily be a hero or, maybe, one of those people who’s words changed mentalities. But he’s just…

I could read between his lines. His voice is deeper than a lost thunder in its way to meet the sea. A sea of doubts. He’ll calm down the raging waves. He’ll make sure I found peace. Only that I…

Lost in time and separated by a distance we cannot cross. He’s still mine. I’m still his. The bravest part of me will always meet the brightest part of him. To feel complete, to become one. Still, we…

Torn apart by unspoken words, our voices were silenced by the unsung songs. We live for the untold stories and they’re happy for our unwritten happy endings. If they only…

We’re broken mirrors for each other’s wounds, starring in each other’s abysses. No peace for the lost souls. No medals for the survivors. What if…

But he’s just an old flame. A peaceful, harmless hero who never got the chance to fight.

Only that I turned my peace into disaster, creating drama and breaking our hearts.

Still we have a place in this legendary love. We just never settled for what we were given.

If they only knew that our smiles hide a million love songs, all ours…Would they set us free?

What if you and me, warriors by nature, will one day decide to break the rules? To find real peace and real love. I’d be your run-away girl if you’d only be my shelter.

What if, one day, out of the blue, I’ll come looking for you, threatening to break your almost-perfect bubble of lies? 

Hey…are we still talking about love? You know, that sweet old-fashion notion…romantic, pure and harmless? 

No. We stopped talking about love long time ago.

It’s all about Freedom.

When I stand beside the ocean…

White-pigeon-flying-spread-wings-sun-rays-HD-Desktop-Wallpaper-915x515To save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. Do they have the moral right? Do I?

The small house of prayer was painted in nuances of blue. White flowers in big vases in the corners of the room. A white piano…

A beautiful girl who’s eyes cried too many tears.

“Why did they send you? Why couldn’t they come here? Why can’t they love me…simply love me…for who I am?”

She knows I don’t have the answer and I’m not even going to try to convince her to come back. Deep inside my heart, I know her story. And I know my story too…

back in 1994…

-Just throw it away. To the trash with it!

-NO!

-You don’t even know who gave it to you! It’s not from our church!

-So what?! I will never throw away a book with Jesus’s name on the cover! 

-These people are devious! What are you doing? Are you eating the chocolate too?

-Oh yes! Want some?

-You know, this attitude of yours…

What attitude? I’m eating chocolate and I’m reading a little book with Jesus on its cover…

-You know exactly what I mean! This rebellious attitude…like you’re superior or something!

She’s slamming the door…This is not what I wanted. The guilt takes over…I was wrong to take the little book from that stranger. I hate the little book! I hate the stranger who gave it to me! And now my mother hates me too! And…I don’t even understand a single word! It’s in English…But I see the picture of a blue ocean and I imagine it’s an ocean of love…Dear God…how I need an ocean of love…

back to the present

The beautiful girl told me her story with tears of joy in her eyes. About a special calling. And a special feeling…like her place is somewhere, oceans away…where little children suffer of hunger and illnesses…

About a search that leaded her to this place. This small house of prayer, painted in blue, with a white piano where she sang to Jesus. She sang her heart out…and felt clean. She felt pure. Loved. For the first time. Loved.

About her love and her joy of life. About her MISSION. A mission that brought her soul to life even if her family calls her “suicidal”. And she talks about a special kind of love. A love without judgement, resentments and anger. A love she discovered here and now…

“I know you can understand me, I see it in your eyes…You came here decided to convince me to go back home. Can you feel it? This is HOME. This is the place where my heart…is overcome with love. Imagine an ocean of love…”

I see an ocean of love in her eyes…

And I’m feeling small…

I ignored so many callings, I denied so many signs. But, when I stand here, beside her…my heart is overcome too.

And I feel God’s smile upon me again…

 

 

I trade these ashes in for beauty…

She’s smiling at me from her profile picture. The bright smile that used to melt the hearts of everyone. Ever since we were kids…

“She was the perfect child. Kind, delicate and still strong, because her emotional maturity and wisdom were beyond her age. And it was absolutely impossible to be jealous or envious at her. No matter how much smarter and brighter she was. You would love her because of her loving heart.

The perfect family and a predictable future. She became a doctor…

I met her long ago while I was playing with my little girls. A tiny hand got a little too close of the pink balloon that my daughter was playing with. The tiny hand wanted the pink balloon…and we couldn’t resist his adorable smile. A smile that reminded me of…

She hugged me tight, maybe a little too tight…

The shadow in her eyes, the sadness in her smile, the obvious way she avoided to talk about her life.

I don’t know why I even approached the subject. I shouldn’t have…I don’t usually…

-This is amazing…I had patients who experienced near-death sensations but none of them were actually…Can I ask you something?

-Yes, of course…

-What was the feeling? Was a relief? Or…did you had any pain? Sorry…doctor’s curiosity…

-It’s alright. It was…frightening. I wanted back to life…the regret of the unspoken words, the fear…Then I saw Him, waiting for me. And He took my hand, making everything alright…The fear was replaced by love and gratitude. I was not forsaken…not alone. He came for me.

She looked down.

-That’s because you pray…

-No, not at all! You know, right before passing out, I had this feeling of anger. yes, I was terribly angry at Him. I even dared Him, accused Him, blamed Him! He wasn’t there because I’m some kind of saint…

-Then why?

-Because His love is far greater than my mistakes. Our mistakes…And He knows our hearts better than we know ourselves.

She had tears in her eyes and when she hugged me I felt her so weak, like she could break down any moment…

And that was years ago. I only saw her in a dream, about six months after that meeting.”

Please tell me about your dream. I never dream…not since…Please try to remember…

Dressed in white, with white flowers in her hair. She was laughing and she was…herself again. She was playing with a child, lifting him, dancing, singing to him.

A child…she lost a child once…it broke her heart. Please tell me more.

She got closer to me and whispered “You were right.” then disappeared. That’s all I remember…

The woman in front of me is crying. Her mother. I wish I could cry too…

When you met her…she was terminal. She stopped the chemo because she wanted to enjoy her last months with her child. She told me about meeting you. She said you’re an angel…You really helped her. Thank you. 

The brightest eyes are smiling at me from her profile. Her picture has a black frame and the cover picture represents ashes…I wish they would take off that frame…she deserves more.

She is pure beauty.

I’m no angel. But The One who spoke through me that day…He knows where Angels belong. And I know…one day…I will trade the ashes I’m carrying in my heart for pure beauty. And I will hug her again.

 

What kind of demon are you?

The pain irradiated in my left arm, leaving me breathless. The lack of air and the sudden weakness awoke an old panic inside me (I’m…I think…I’m having…a…panic attack…)

“Or maybe a heart attack. Or maybe you’re just dying.”

His tone shows no compassion, no mercy, no love. It harms me more than anything I ever experienced. I feel like crying, but I swear…I will never cry in front of him! So I close my eyes and surrender to pain…

I’m wearing a laced black mask. I can’t see myself and the black veil on my eyes makes everything so dark…Where am I? I crossed the bridge…but the place looks so different from what I remember. This is where we used to lay on the fresh green grass, looking at the clear blue sky, hand in hand, making promises to each other. Promises that never came true…Me and my love. The Shadow.

Is all dark and cold and I miss him…The black mask is covering my face. Suspicious eyes around me and steps getting closer. Fires burning around us. I’m one of them…Someone takes my hand and…I want to tell him that I’m lost. I came here looking for someone I loved. And I’m surrounded by…

-Demons. You’re not lost.

Can you read my mind?

-No. I just feel your fears. May I?

He wants to take off my mask. NO. (No fears. Show courage. Don’t let him see inside.)

-I will take off my mask when I decide! Not a second before.

He smiles.

-What kind of demon are you?

-A very powerful one, believe me! (Yes, believe it. Believe every lie. I will get out of here!)

He touches my hair with soft gestures. Kindness. He’s gently leaning on me. The touch of his cold lips on my neck makes my knees tremble. Is it fear? Is it lust? He’s deceiving me with his tenderness…and I…

-Why don’t you take off your mask so I could kiss those beautiful eyes of yours? You are safe with me…

-What is your name?

He laughs and the fire burns higher and closer.

-What a silly question…now, if I tell you my name…wouldn’t you throw me to the fire? Say “I promise”.

I promise.

-Maybe…if you say pretty please…

Look, demon! I’ll never ever beg you for anything! Not if my life would depend…

The fire in his eyes burns me inside and my heart is nothing but a flame. It hurts and I…

-Please…I…

-That sounded great. Now say that you’re mine!

The black laced mask is suffocating me. I choke and I gasp for air and my lips…they’re burning with…desire? To be his…The words will damn my soul and everything that’s still pure in me fights against it.

-I’m…

-Say it!

There’s only one way. The peace of letting go. No more fighting…

-I’m NOT a demon. Here, take off this stupid mask, I have no power, I need no power. Look into my eyes. See? See the bright light? Is called Love. Go ahead, take it. Take this lost heart and burn it to the ground…I will survive the pain.

Blue skies above us…he puts little white flowers in my hair…”My Love, I’m holding on to our promise…till the end of days.”

“Or maybe a heart attack. Or maybe you’re just dying.”

I open my eyes. There’s no anger, no resentment in my voice. Neither in my heart.

-Well, I’m afraid I can’t humor you on that one. Not today, anyway.

“I didn’t meant…I was joking…I don’t want you to…it was only…stupid words…”

Stupid words. Creating hell inside our hearts. What saved me? A love they call “sinful” and “forbidden” is still the purest part of me. A courage they call “crazy” and “delusional” made me take off my mask. So, what shall I pray for?

Dear God, when my broken heart sinks to the deepest of hell, please remind me who I really am. 

 

 

 

 

 

Infamous

From the little fish bowl, the golden fish looks straight into the gates. Are they the gates to Heaven? The clear blue and the pure white…exactly the description he knew from the ancestors stories. He wants to follow the right path. The one that leads to the gates…

The gold fish knows he’s too small and his fins are not the big wings he always dreamed to have. He knows his weakness and his fears. He believes…it’s because of him, because of his lack of faith…that the gates are getting further and further…

And so many others tried…he heard about their triumph. He’s jealous and anxious and blames this little heart (“Infamous heart!”) he was given! He wants to jump. “Your faith requires sacrifice!” Yes…he will! He goes up, he takes what’s left of his courage and…falls again. Oh no, the gates are fading…Don’t…his nostrils sensed the perfume and his mouth tasted the wondrous air. He was so close. He goes down…he wants nothing now. Sad and lost, he discovers that a wounded pride can kill…

And just when he’s giving up, just when he dies inside once again…the gates comes closer. So close, he can almost touch them. But the bowl…oh, this golden cage! Oh, how it hurts when he tries to break it! It is unbreakable, he’ll never break the wall…There’s only one way…

Will he follow the ancestors path? Will he sacrifice it all just to feel…one more time…one last time…the wondrous air and its perfume in his nostrils? His little heart doesn’t know the answers. But this love is beyond judgement…His soul belongs to the blue gates. So…what choice does he really has?

Hey, look at this little fellow. What is he trying to do? Jumping out of his bowl! Crazy little fish…First he tried to break it and now he jumps out. Like he would have wings to fly…What an infamous way to die! Okay, gotta go.

The blue gates disappeared  and all that’s left is a little gold fish fighting for air. Fighting for a love he’ll never have. Never again.

Because the blue gates are always getting further, taking away the arms that held me and the smile that kept me warm. My love…how will I live without your blue eyes? Come back soon…

Because, in our little worlds, behind the walls of our hearts, we, little golden fishes…we simply can’t breath in the salty water of our tears…

 

When you have no light to guide you…

I’m ignoring them. The voices in my head, the prejudices, the rigid rules, the “should be” and “shouldn’t be” and I run to him. With an open heart. I need to stop this torment in my heart, this continue search and calling. Even if it means that I’m going to break some boundaries.

Hi, remember me? The impolite one? The one who pretended that she doesn’t know you. I want to apologize. And to invite you to a coffee.

I’m all blushed and agitated and he looks at me slightly amused. I’m lost in his eyes once again. Dark circles around them…He hides a soft toy and I pretend I didn’t noticed.

“Hi…you have nothing to apologize for. I was awkward. And you, so sweet and kind, you…don’t ever call yourself impolite. Not because of me, okay? Now, you were saying something about a coffee?”

I want to make him smile…I need to know what’s this sadness in his eyes and replace it with brightness. He’s quiet and he stars again at my little crucifix.

Do you like it? I can give it to you, I have more than enough at home. I got them from a medieval church and…

“Please don’t.”

He said it so abruptly leaving me no place to ask or to comment. There’s a shadow upon my heart and I feel cold. I feel the need to hide away the little crucifix. To run away…

“I scared you…I didn’t meant to sound so…harsh. I guess I forgot how to act around…women. Well, that sounded awkward as hell…”

Christian…can I ask you something?

He nods.

Can I hold your hand? 

I’m being stupid. My heart jumps out of my chest and my fingers are trembling. He smiles at me, and he takes my hand into his palms.

“I…from all people…I’m the last you should spend time with. I’m not a good influence, I can’t bring anything good in your life. I only destroy. What I touch dies and my love is a cursed one.”

I feel the crucifix burning my skin. (Run. Run now.)

I know…I’m here just to hold your hand. We’re strangers but somehow I trust you and your smile makes me happy…somehow…”

“You trust me?”

Yes.

“Show me.”

How?

“Follow me to the end of the world.”

And, just like that, he stands, takes my hand and we’re going…I don’t know where.

(Run away. Run now. You don’t know him. He could be a criminal.)

He suggested to take his car and I froze. I actually said nothing, but I must have looked so terrified…”Okay…no car then…but is freezing cold…” I’m trembling. He puts his arm around my shoulders and asks me if I’m alright. And I…(Run!)

I’m alright…

“I swear I’m not a serial killer…sweet girl”

He called me “sweet girl” and, along with his playful smile…it melts my heart.

“Okay, we’re almost there.”

Where?

“To the end of the world.”

I see a cemetery and I panic. The place is pretty isolated and, as we’re walking right in, I just wish…I wish I’d be home, with my family…I look at him and I see…

Tears…

“I have no right…to drag you…into this…I’ll take you home.”

NO.

“No?”

You said…to the end of the world. 

(Ask him to take you home now! You’re insane! Stupid! You deserve whatever…!)

We stop at a small grave. A small pink grave where he’s gently placing the soft toy. He’s caressing the small cross whispering something through tears.

So many pink toys, flowers, messages…And two bright eyes watching me from a picture. A little girl. His. And I stop breathing. My heart hurts like never before. I want to say something, anything and I can’t.

“This is the end of my world.”

I’m crying and he takes me in his arms.

“Thank you for being here. Thank you for trusting me. I’ll take you home now…I’m not good…for you…I have no light in my life…nothing…only darkness. Can you see it now?”

I touch his face, wiping away his tears.

I’m here for you. And if you feel you have no light…just take my hand. Follow me back to life…would you? Let me be your light…