If you are not a warrior…

chess-2215836_960_720You and me –us- we were born in times of war.

You found me on a bloody battlefield, barefoot and crazy,

Laughing in the face of hurricanes,

Cursing the tragedy of falling too deep, too quick, too much!

I took your hand, –asked for your heart- I saw you trembling.

My dear, don’t love me if you’re so afraid of pain!

 

You and me –us– we survived winters and wolves.

My scars grew heavier, yes…I was bitten!

And being wild became my only nature, oh, my love…

You redefined sweetness for me, in terms of burning flames and fire!

When it was love, –your love– my only source of heat.

Darling, don’t love me if your soul is frozen to the grounds!

 

You and me -us- we killed each other on a battlefield.

Victims of evil shadows, we thought we’re fighting loneliness

And, yet, your knife tore me apart…

You broke me just to drown into my tears?

Aren’t we silly? You and me?

My love…don’t love me if you’re meant to kill my dreams!

 

Now don’t be sad, you’ll be in all my poems,

When lonely nights remind me of my loss.

See, you and me –us– were never meant to be heroes

In this war between heart and mind.

I’ll always wonder how it would feel to have someone fighting for me

-against all fears and inner demons-

-against all odds-

Don’t love me…if you’re not a warrior.

 

 

 

All the credits for the photo go to the free photos website http://www.pixabay.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

You say I am loved… (a different kind of Valentine’s Day story)

…and I fail, every single time.

Prologue:

-Call the police, quickly, there’s a homeless girl here, in front of our apartment. She’s not moving…

-Great, what a great way to start Valentine’s Day! What are you doing?

-I’m going to see if she’s hurt. Maybe she needs some food…

-Well, why don’t you invite her in?!

-I should, you know? I should! Jesus would do that!

-Then let Him invite her to where He lives, okay? I can’t believe it!

“I grabbed the little few things that could be found in my fridge on this early, rainy morning and stuffed them in a bag. I looked away, not to see, not to feel the disappointment in his eyes, while, with trembling hands I opened the front door.

“Stop fooling around, police is on its way, there’s really no point in what you’re doing!”

The smell was horryfying, the view was terrible, it was mud and traces of blood and still, under (what used to be) a dirty blanket, I saw a small move. One step closer and my stomach was rebelling, but I needed to lean down, to see the pleading eyes.

“For God’s sake, we’ll never get rid of her if you start feeding her! Come back inside!”

Helpless arms rose behind the blanket, a defensive gesture, meant to be self-protective, and the eyes looked my way. My voice was weak, “don’t be afraid, it’s food…for you”, and she mumbled something. I put the bag right next to her and ran back inside.

“Make sure the door is locked, she might be dangerous!”

I did it and then, I just stood there, unable to move, overwhelmed by shame. I failed…

“No, honey, you did not fail. Police will take her to a shelter, They will provide decent clothes, a warm bed, basics, right? You gave her food, you were kind to her, I guess it’s enough.”

No, I was not kind, no, it was not nearly enough…

She needed a hot tea. A decent “hello, do you need any help?”. An embrace. Someone to ask about her name and her age. A human touch. She needed care, protection and love.

She deserves a Valentine’s Day too!

And I failed.”

Epilogue:

Police came, they said they’ll take her to a shelter. I know because I heard her screams long after they left.

“Don’t take me there! Don’t! At least, let me take my bag! It is mine! An angel gave it to me! It’s food there, my food! The angel said it’s food for me there, in the bag…”

The food remained there, scattered on the floor.

And I still hear her screams.

Have faith, He told me…

grass-3336700_960_720The clock was ticking in reality.

Five minutes more, please…just five…”

His smile was my answer, along with the light flowing from his eyes into mine. Laying on the green field, the world I left behind was so far away, like a long distant dream, a place I only visited for a short while, on my way home.

“What is this place so beautiful, is it heaven? Are you an angel? Am I still alive, sleeping in my bed?”

He laughed of my childlike questions and thousand crystal bells started to dance around me. White feathers, rose petals and fluffy clouds, floating in the air. My bare feet, caressed by the silky touch of fresh grass. He put a flower in my hair…

And the clock was still ticking in reality.

Five more…”

He took my hand and helped me stand, and, in his arms, my body felt weightless, so I just knew it was always mine…the power to fly. So high, to the place where all the souls belong to, where pain and sorrow are unknown! Where I’d be loved…

“I don’t want to go back to reality, I don’t want to wake up to a world of wolves. I don’t want this love inside me turned into ice and stones! Keep me, please keep me here!”

He put his palms upon my chest and rivers of light surrounded my heart. A warm, gentle breeze went through my hair, as butterflies nested on my shoulders. I looked inside and I just saw a trembling, restless, fearful heart turned into love. Pure love…my heart became love.

And then I saw his tears, for all I was is darkness and all He gave is life.

And the clock stopped ticking in reality.

I opened my eyes to another day on the battlefield. My feet will cross over mud and fallen branches, my skin will burn from acid rain falling from the purple sky. I’ll watch the wolves tear each other again until, hurt and hungry, they’ll turn their prayers into curses. I’ll clean my wounds and, as they’ll look for new ways to bite from aching hearts, I’ll still stand strong.

And they will wonder why…

Have faith, He told me, and I listened. So I am not afraid anymore.

 

 

The photo is taken from the free photos website http://www.pixabay.com

 

 

Oceans in my soul

surf-3450584_960_720The voice of the wind called me, so I followed it through thunders and rain. A long distanced echo, whispering my name, reminding me of darkness and tragedies…this storm was different in ways I could never explain.

People were rushing to find shelter, crying for salvation, screaming for hope! As I was slow dancing with the fallen leafs, I felt the warmth of your burning eyes and oceans rose inside me. Unspoken prayers escaped the heart that never stopped searching…

You asked for a story and I gave you my heart, and still you wondered…Could it be pure, untamed, unbroken? Could it be real, the endless light I’ve always dreamed of? And, yet, you doubt it, for oceans are impossible to embrace…

I walked through the storm with nothing but your love to keep me warm, just like a true warrior! I walked and I fell, stroke by the cruel memory of my wasted dream. Hit and crushed by thousand icy drops, I died countless times…

And every painful coming back gave me a tiny, miraculous bead of salty water…

My oceans…testimonies of an innocence I’ll never lose, witnesses of my battles against darkness, my oceans…made of faith. You’ll see them in my eyes, so don’t be afraid, this is not an illusion! One day, they’ll meet the immensity of another ocean -above us- , then they’ll be one with it. And I’ll still love you…

with every ocean within me.

 

 

The photo is taken from the free photos website http://www.pixabay.com

Wings of fire

wings-2595714_960_720Uncertain and fragile, the words fly from my lips, like restless butterflies in the midsummer. I hide my eyes in the warmth of his body, while my senses are invaded by the woody flavor of his skin. Addictive and profound, his perfume embraces my whole being, leaving me no choice but to surrender to the desire he creates in me…

A gentle touch and the fire spreads through my body, ravaging boundaries and senseless rules, melting walls of fear, giving life to an inner world that stopped existing so long ago. He knows it and I can feel his fiery smile, as he unwraps this wild heart, turning every beat into a melody…

Unhesitatingly and willingly, my heart reveals the gift it carries inside, rushing its rhythm until his world and mine are one perfect universe of emotion. And, while my mind still denies it, while doubts speak the arguments of reason, he takes me to a place of wonders, a castle where broken dreams become whole again…

Memories turned into white fog, for I’m too weary to remember the glorious crown I used to wear. No longer the princess in my high cold-iced tower, no longer the prisoner of a life that broke me, and so much more than an angel, this woman that rose from the ashes is wild and hungry for a love she was always denied of. Desire burning through my veins, while my lips whisper and my heart sighs…

Will he be brave enough this time…

…to play with fire?

 

 

all credits for the picture, to the site of free photos http://www.pixabay.com

 

 

To the other side

butterfly-3478925_960_720Talk to me softly when I lay helpless in your arms,

when words seem to fade away in an ocean of salty waters, flooding the green fields inside me.

Say gentle words when flowers are blooming upon my heart,

when the sunshine in my eyes finds rest in your moonlight.

Caress my wounded soul with whispers of love, when all I need is healing,

when, tired of all the storms, I’m searching for a way to give in.

Be kind, my love, the sharp sound of your anger is taking me to places where I freeze and die!

Then I return, but that’s not me! This hateful stranger who’s songs are turned into screams of agony…who is it?

So talk to me softly when I push you away and I might live! Our love may stand a chance!

Tell me sweet stories, my hero, for I’m a butterfly, trapped in an eternal flight.

Pour a drop of heavenly honey into your voice, or just…

…just let it be gentle, your final goodbye. That’s all I’m taking with me

to the other side.

 

 

The picture is taken from the free-photos website http://www.pixabay.com

The invisible girl

woman-3299379_960_720“Maybe I died today.”

A car almost hit her and then, unusual and frightening, her best friend wasn’t responding to her messages. She tried to call a few other friends, but some rejected the call, some were busy, some just ignored the sound of their yellow screens.

So, here she is, at this crowded mall, spinning and laughing, pretending that her red curls have a life of their own.

“When did I die? How did it happen?”

She said it very loudly, but no one turned to see her. A world of strangers, all addicts to their yellow screens, walking like zombies, bumping into her, walking over her shadow, without noticing her. At all.

So she starts singing.

“Red curls, red soul, red lips. Oh, that red lipstick that I always wanted and never bought! It’s too red! Too red for me! And now it’s too late…because I’m…DEAD!”

She dances in front of the shoes store.

“Red shoes that I never tried on! They go perfectly with the red lipstick I never bought! And I’ll dance to my very end! But…hey! It did happen sometime earlier today!”

And her dance steps turned into tears.

The sky was already darkening when she went home. Where it smells like cookies and Christmas, music and the best coffee, his strong, loving arms and love. It feels like her safe place. It feels like warm.

“A funny thing happened today…I was at the mall and no one saw me, then no one answered to my calls. It was weird, I felt like being invisible…”

She reaches out to touch him, but he stays cold and mute, trapped between the yellow screen and a frozen inner world.

“I definitely died…”

She grabs the little mirror from her purse, just to smash it to the floor, breaking it into a million little pieces.

(“I know, I know what to do now…Red lips, red eyes, red soul, red blood…”)

The sharp little piece of glass feels alive in her hand. So is the pain. And the blood pulses faster, hotter, stronger! More vivid than it ever pulsed through her veins!

And no, the invisible girl did not die that day.

Her world did.

 

 

The image is taken from the free photos website http://www.pixabay.com

For all the flickering lights

light-3130988_960_720Like old wine, strong and seductive, his bitter-sweet smile goes beyond the cold screen, defying the obvious obstacles between them. Thirty years and a thousand oceans. All real, even if only one is made of blue, clear water.

The rest are made of fears. His and hers.

She posts lots of selfies, all from the right angle, with the right light and a positive smile. Likes, comments, compliments…she secretly doubts the honesty of their words, but still, she cannot stop herself from enjoying the attention.

With trembling hands, she sent him her favorite photo. The one where her eyes appear as greener than the summery grass.

He considers himself a man of God and this gives him a sense of pride. And a set of moral rules used as a loaded gun, pointed straight to her heart. He judges and he blames every part of her story, wrapping cruel words in humor and irony.

He shows no mercy, no compassion, no tolerance.

She considers herself an empath and that’s more of a curse than a blessing to her. That’s why she sees the flickering light inside him, that’s why she cares too much for a complete stranger, that’s why she opens up in ways she never should.

She’s dangerously vulnerable in a world made of wolves.

He blocks her and deletes all of their chats, complimenting himself for being self-righteous and strong in his faith. For, in his eyes, Christianity is nothing but a battle, a war against anyone who’s less than perfect.

He’s praying to a God that never responds and never forgives.

His rejection sends her to a place of darkness. Scarred, ugly, stupid and evil, that’s how she portraits herself in the inner mirrors. She cries, but tears offer no relief from this old, familiar pain. The wounds are open and they’re bleeding so deep, so hopelessly deep…

That’s when she starts praying. For him. And tears of joy fill her tired eyes when all she feels is a complete, miraculous, life-giving forgiveness.

She smiles to herself thinking of the labyrinth we call life. Sometimes we get lost and, in our loneliness, we do follow flickering lights. She did it, I surely did it too. But when these lights are guiding us to dark places, when all we hear are hateful words…

Oh, when faith itself is used as a gun!

That’s when we need a greater Love.

Please pray for all the flickering lights out there.

(Inspired by a real story. Thank you, T.)

 

 

The photo is from the free photo website http://www.pixabay.com

 

Before I even knew…

bright-1853624_960_720The storm was brewing inside me, chasing my hopes away, alluring me fly back to a long forgotten place.

Here, where nothing is quite as it seems and black eyes are watching behind phony mirrors.

Where snakes wear crowns of gold and lambs are trading their innocence for momentary glimpses of lust and fantasy.

Where preachers call sinners to repentance, but knees never bent and tears never fall…and promises remain unspoken.

Where hearts never break, for they were made of thin air, black smoke and ghostly wind.

And we are all the same, here in the storm. Lost souls, clinging to memories of dreams, unable to see a guiding light, falling, breaking down, crushed by the sharp edges of an icy embrace. When have we forgotten our true essence?

For we were light before becoming darkness, and we flew high before tasting the abyss. Yes, we had faith before the hate took over! And we knew love before crying our tears of blood.

I see you here, little star, calling out your demons, challenging them to a fair fight. Wild and rebellious, innocent and free, unaware of your beauty…I see you and I cry. You do remind me of myself somehow. Are you the one I cannot find in my mirrors?

It seems like a thousand years of searching…but it was all worth it. For I have found the lost girl, the little star who’s love used to change destinies. Here she is, Here I am!

For I was saved long before I even knew I need salvation…

 

 

The photo is from http://www.pixabay.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Sunshine Blogger Award

This honors me beyond words…after so many months of avoiding to participate on any kind of nomination, here I am, feeling grateful and special for being among the nominees. We are a community, what better way to celebrate this feeling? Thank you, Stuart for reminding me, in this elegant way, that little things matter so much!

A wonderful person and a loyal friend, a talented writer and a man of faith, Stuart’s blog is impressive through the wisdom, love, faith and passion for truth he brings into the world. I’m happy to give you the link to his blog: https://stubaby777.wordpress.com/

Here are the rules for receiving the award:

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them.
  • List the rules and display an award logo on your blog post.
  • Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you.
  • Nominate 11 new blogs to receive the award and notify them by commenting on any of their posts.
  • Ask the nominees 11 new questions.

Now I’m going to answer to Stu’s amazing 11 questions:

1. When, what seems like the weight of the world is upon your shoulders, what keeps you motivated to take that next step?

Thank you for this question! What truly helps me, when even prayers seem pointless, is to look into my children’s eyes. Their trust in me, their unconditional love, their light…that’s all I need…and I will move a mountain! 🙂

2. What is something that you used to collect as a child that you wish you still had?

I used to collect chocolates wrappers, had a big box of those things. I miss them…

3. What exactly gives you a sense of accomplishment?

Volunteering, definitely.

4. What was your hardest challenge to overcome?

My hardest challenge was the depression I’ve been struggling with the past 5 years. And the guilt associated with it.

5. Why do you feel the church is silent on dealing with real life issues like addiction and sex?

Is hard to answer without starting to judge and to blame the church…in fact, this was the main reason I decided to keep the distance from my church and its rituals. I trust that the true followers of Christ will never remain silent. They are the only church I need in times of darkness.

6. What is your personal opinion as to why it seems more and more little ones are being shot, beaten, kidnapped or worse?

The children are the purest expression of Light, here on earth. So, in these times of spiritual war, they become targets. The very idea of Family is targeted too…

7. Why would any parent, no matter what the hell is going on in their lives, want to take the lives of their kids?

There is no reason, absolutely no reason for a human being to harm a child! I see these cases daily, it is heart breaking and beyond any logical explanation. Look at the Watts case, look into his eyes…I did, expecting to see a sick person…All I saw was evil, pure evil. I’m sorry if this sounds offensive, this is how I feel.

8. What is you favorite post/posts you have written? Share links please 😊

That’s easy 🙂 https://betweenthelines2017blog.wordpress.com/2018/07/24/if-a-writer-falls-in-love-with-you/

9. I don’t know if this one is possible but what is the most liked post on your blog?

It’s the one I mentioned above (I got 212 likes, that’s…wowwww for me! )

10. Which post is the one most commented on?

https://betweenthelines2017blog.wordpress.com/2018/09/01/this-is-my-shelter/

(43 comments!)

11. And finally, who is your top supporter as far as comments? Give them a shout out 😊

On this beautiful journey as a blogger I had the chance to meet a very special lady, a really wonderful friend, the type of person that never gives up on you, even when you’re unable to give back all the love she’s giving. This is Sharon, from https://caterpillars2butterfliesblog.wordpress.com/, my amazing friend.

My nominees for The Sunshine Blogger Award are:

  1. https://vastnesswithin.wordpress.com/
  2. https://elixiroflife260689661.wordpress.com/
  3. https://caterpillars2butterfliesblog.wordpress.com/
  4. https://monikajeneva.wordpress.com/
  5. https://benjaminprewitt.com/
  6. https://heavenlypredictions.com/
  7. https://ourlifein3d.com/
  8. https://poemscomdotblog.wordpress.com/
  9. https://thepaperdrafts.wordpress.com/
  10. https://wordslessspoken781842219.blog/
  11. https://thepoetic1.com/

Here are my questions for the nominees:

  1. What is the song that you listen on repeat when you feel down?
  2. How do you imagine a perfect afternoon?
  3. What is your favorite poem?
  4. What was your favorite toy as a child?
  5. Tell me about your favorite place.
  6. What do you like the most about yourself?
  7. Tell me about a food that reminds you of childhood.
  8. Describe me your best friend.
  9. What is your biggest fear?
  10. Who do you miss the most?
  11. Who’s portrait would you paint if you would be a painter?

I’d be happy to read your answers, but I do understand if any of the nominees would not want to be a part of this. You are amazing regardless of any nomination!