I decided that love is beautiful…
I smiled at her, remembering the tears, the long sleepless nights, the dark thoughts. She had that light in her eyes…I took her hand. “I think that’s a wise decision”. She laughed.
And you know, I didn’t wanted to see. It was there, all this time! I mean, how silly was I…to imagine that true love must hurt, other wise is not true. But it wasn’t the hurt or the pain what I was longing for…it was passion.
I nodded. Passion? Or love?
Is it a matter of choice? Like love is pure and passion is impure? No…I wont fall in this trap again! There is more than black or white…much more! I used to think like that, like there’s only one right choice…remember where it led me this kind of thinking?
Her eyes are bright from the tears. She shows me the marks on her hands.
See? See how stupid I was? Permanent scars…Anyway, that was long ago…
I gently touched her trembling hands. “It was long ago, but it still hurts.”
No! I’m happy! I’m in love…I don’t feel guilty this time…Damn…it hurts! Why? I want a love that wont ever hurt. Happy tears, only happy tears.
She wipes away her tears, forcing herself to smile.
She’s braver than she knows. More beautiful than she sees herself.
She’s an imaginary character, but “she” can be any one of us. Or, maybe, a little voice inside our minds, telling us how “it should” or “it shouldn’t” be love. Accompanied by guilt, pressure and fears. What’s beyond them? Who are we when all the lights are fading into the darkness?
May it be love in our souls…so that our hearts could heal.