They were fighting every night and you heard every word of hate and anger…

-Yes, I did. But I pretended that I’m sleeping in a deep deep and peaceful sleep. Adding this burden to their shoulders…that they’re keeping me from sleeping…well, it simply would have been too much!

-So, you were protecting your parents…how did you protect yourself?

I used to pretend that I don’t understand the words…that I’m from a different country…and I simply don’t speak their language. 

-But one night you heard a word that sounded the same…in their language as in yours.

No, not the same. Divorce…that was the word…for me it was tragedy.

-Tell me what happen.

I heard them fighting, I heard the word…it was 2 a.m. and I heard my mother opening the door to our balcony. And I was so afraid…I followed her to the balcony…she was crying, looking down…I thought she’ll jump…

-What did you tell her?

That I cannot imagine my life without the both of them…that if they divorce, I don’t want to live anymore. And that she has to stay for me. 

-How old were you?

I was nine…

– …and here I am, thinking, writing, dreaming…in a foreign language. With a sleep pattern from a different continent. Building relationships with people I’ll only meet on line…people from across the ocean…

He listened silently…this last part of my confession…I know it touched him deeply. He thought I’m perfect…he thought he knows me perfectly. But he asked…and I promised him honesty. If not love, let it be honesty…

I know this look on his face. I know his unspoken thoughts…”Why do you need this? Why can’t you settle with what we have?” 

You’re so far away…There’s an ocean between us…an ocean and no airplane, no helicopter, no submarine…can help you cross it. Only LOVE.

Because this ocean, we created it ourselves. First time when we pronounced the word. Divorce. But, you know, I’m still here…we did not burn every bridge…So, let’s say the right words and meet in the middle. TOGETHER.


5 thoughts on “There’s an ocean between us…

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