Just another sleepless night and I had to come to you. Love was never easy for neither of us, wasn’t it? You seem so surprised…why? After all, you know everything about losing battles, so that makes you a survivor. Do you see the irony in this?

Can I come in? Don’t be afraid, the only dark is in my soul. Or, better be…be frightened! Because I chased away all the stars and I’m carrying the darkest shade of black withing me. What you see in front of your eyes is not what you know, not what you expected, so be very afraid…

Who said you are meant to save me? Now that I’m touching your heart, I can feel how fragile it is. One simple gesture, one wrong move and it’s broken. Why are you still staying? Will you stay ’till morning comes? I need you! Will you finally open your eyes?

I finally opened my eyes. The nightmare left my skin covered in cold sweat so I’m trembling. The window is open and the darkness never seemed so deep. My Rosary is laying on the floor and my bedroom looks ravished. Wild wind…

3:03 AM

I remember my nightmare and I remember his voice. I’m doing it. Maybe I’m losing my mind, but I’m doing it.

-Stephan? I’m sorry to call you this hour, I’m sure you were sleeping and now you’re thinking I’m some lunatic…

-I…I wasn’t…how did you knew?

-What? Your voice sounds strange. I had a nightmare and…Why are you still up this late?

-I was just writing something…for you. A note.

-A note? What note? Stephan…

-It’s just that…life…and love was never easy. I lost too much already and I can’t go on. I’m sorry, you should really go to sleep, I’m not worthy…

-Listen…love wasn’t easy for neither of us and we know all about losing battles. You know what we are? Survivors! We are experts in facing our fears. But right now I am afraid, I’m frightened of losing my best friend. So, just stay with me and listen! Okay?

-Okay…I guess…

-I know that feeling when you look in the mirror and you cannot recognize yourself. All you see is the darkest shade of black…

-That’s exactly how…

-I know, I do know! You touched my heart so many times that you became a part of it. Fragile as it is, broken as you found it, you were the only one who saw its walls falling. So, no matter what…no matter how deep is your darkness…I am staying! I can be afraid of so many things, but I wont be afraid of you. And if you are in darkness, then I’ll join you there, until the morning comes!

-I think you were meant to save me…

-Only three hours are separating us from the day light. I will make sure you’re reaching the morning light safely…

Because you are meant to live. To face your fears and to learn that, beyond every lost battle, there can be a new beginning. 

And no matter how fragile we are, how deep is our inner darkness, how broken and scared we see ourselves, we’re all worthy. To embrace the morning light.




6 thoughts on “If you feel you can’t wait ’till morning…

  1. Your posts never crease to amaze me Claudia! The darkness, the nightmares, the pain….those who struggle do lose so much along the way. The one thing that we can secretly hope for is that one person who can come along and help save us. To hold us til the Light comes, to help pick up the pieces of our shattered soul. If the battle is won, it is the survivors who have to most to offer to others who struggle, and so depicts our path…guiding us to our purpose. May you continue to share your knowledge with those you reach out to help!!

    Liked by 1 person

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