Our eyes met and I knew deep inside my heart…this is destiny…We needed no words, but he wanted me to know, to hear and to remember his voice…

I saw you before…in every princess from my childhood’s books. And I was the hero…your hero.”

He listened to me and, no matter how brave I was trying to be, the tremble in my voice was more than he could take…

“If something would ever happen to you, I just can’t imagine…I’d rather lose my freedom and I’d freely give away my soul if that’s what it takes…to keep you safe…”

He laughed and kissed the traces of my tears.

“So you made a mistake, so what? So you’re not perfect…that’s absolutely wonderful! You’re mine! My woman, my love, my sweetheart! Not some cold, untouchable, perfect porcelain doll…”

I guess I said it out loud…I spoke about my fears…

“I’m not cold, I’m rational. And I think you’re overreacting…anyway, I can’t always stay behind you like a babysitter. If you’re afraid to walk on dark streets, you’d better take some self-defense classes!”

He raised his voice and, for the first time, I felt the need to defend myself…from him.

“I can’t stand it! You’re accusing me of things you’ve done! Your mistakes and yours only! And I have nothing to do with them!”

The door closed behind him. I look around me…everything is so familiar and yet so strange…I’m home, but I feel I’m surrounded by strangers…

“Well, you don’t really like anyone, don’t you? You’re perfect! That’s why you’re so lonely…”

-I love you.

I love you too.

-I don’t feel loved.

I don’t feel loved either.

-Your words can cut as deep as any knife.

-I don’t remember saying these words. I never realized how they sound.

-You don’t remember and I can’t forget. What will we do? I still want you in my life…

 

Emotional abuse is just as painful as the physical one. Use your words gently, wisely, loving and tenderly. Especially with the ones you love.

*This post was inspired and dedicated to a very special lady, who overcame the consequences of emotional abuse and learned to heal others through her words.

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “I want to be where no memories mar…*

  1. I have missed your writings while you were away. There’s just something about…. the sadness, the way it makes my heart ache. I understand it, I guess that’s it!! Most that inflict the emotional abuse, honestly don’t seem to have any clue at the damage they do- at least from my experience. Their words are always so cold and bitter…..and cut straight to the bone. We are left feeling like broken, discarded souls that are so fragile, the slightest attempt to repair us unleashes a flood of tears and regrets….. I look forward to reading more of your work, my dear Claudia! You inspire me….:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you…you captured the essence of what I was trying to say…the beauty of being in love is about being open, allowing ourselves to be fragile, vulnerable with our partner. Letting the mask down…We learn to become strong, but what are the costs of our “transformation”? Sometimes there’s no way back…
      A big warm hug for you, my dearest friend! How amazing it feels to know you’re here for me! Be blessed!

      Liked by 1 person

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