“Just hold me tight tonight…tighter than ever before…and don’t let go, even if I tell you to…just don’t let me go tonight…”

Vulnerable and scared, confused and lonely, lost and frightened…

“And if I cry, don’t ask me why I’m crying. Not tonight. Just run your fingers through my hair and talk to me softly. Don’t ask…don’t ask anything tonight.”

It only took four words to take my heart away.

“Keep me warm…the cold is running through my veins and we’re in danger…don’t let my heart be frozen again. Can you stop me from trembling?”

Forgiveness wasn’t enough…how do I move on?

“I did not know I’m so weak…give me a little of your strength. Before I fall…could you build a protective shield for me? And keep me safe beyond it? I don’t want to fly away…

Strong and independent. That’s how I promised myself to become. I lied. One time. I starred into the abyss for just one time. Where do I hide now?

“Don’t let anyone inside. It’s just you and me, this is how we were meant to be…so don’t let him…He’s a thief…hide me away. Hide my love away…”

Four words. And all my speeches about “letting go” and “forgiveness” and “making the right choice” were in vain. Empty words. Empty hearts. Eyes full of tears and souls full of guilt.

“Tonight…hold on to what we have. I chose you to protect the key to my heart. It is yours only. But I am a fool…and I am weak. Be strong for me…”

I still love you. 

Four cursed words. His words.

We are not doomed. Please tell me we’re not doomed!

“Just hold me tight. Don’t let go, even if I beg you to. After tonight, love will be light. My bright light. My only and complete Light. So, just hold on to what we have…”

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3 thoughts on “After tonight, love will be Light

  1. The scene speaks a lot to me, just due to part of my own path. The wrong one says those words, ‘I still love you’, and it would wipe away every ounce of strength I thought I had. I would fall back to the ways that I hated….the ways that only brought pain and heartache to me. The illusion was much more taunting than reality, but the illusion failed me every time. Hold your head high, and reach into the heart…. the faith will one day become stronger than anything, and the light of truth will finally free you from that pain of the wrongs.

    Liked by 1 person

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