You found me in the rain, crying, with an empty heart and a homeless soul.

You took my heart into your hands…(You are safe…)

Your arms around me kept me warm…(I’m here for you…)

You made me feel like home…(You don’t need their love…)

I was with you, I was so deep…I forgot the world and its deceiving smiles. Only with you, only for you, you were the answer to…everything…(I’m the only therapy you’ll ever need…)

No one knew the struggle behind the mask. I kept it locked, every moment of falling…(They’ll never understand…)

You fulfilled a void…just to create a larger one…(I’m the only one who can make you feel complete…)

So I tried to escape more than once, but I came back defeated…(I’ll make you feel loved…)

Hey, You…

Give me back my life. My health, my beauty. My self respect. My independence.

(It’s too late for you…)

Don’t come near me offering this false feeling of security. I’ve never been so insecure.

(Let me comfort you…the way I only know…)

I’m facing the world without you. Don’t stand in my way…(This cruel world will tear you apart without my support…)

I was crying when I met you. Rejected and alone. And you made this solitude deeper and so much more painful. I am healing.

(You need me, you wont make it by yourself…)

Hey, You…

(I’m your healer, your comforter, your love…)

No. You are only my eating disorder. And I’m replacing you with self respect, peace of mind and faith.

And maybe…I’ll learn to love myself again some day.

NOTE: This post is dedicated to every brave heart fighting an eating disorder. Beautiful warrior, you are loved more than you’ll ever know.

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10 thoughts on “I was crying when I met you…

  1. My dear friend, once again your words have pierced me. I felt your strength, yet your weakness. I felt words of the shadow, penetrating even my soul. Those false truths, trying to make us believe that is the only way. Many, many years ago….emotional abuse led to my battle with anorexia…..thank goodness, I was able to overcome. But, ultimately… that was replaced with the total opposite. Food became my comfort, my escape, and now is currently my curse. I sadly, am at the heaviest weight I have even been….I pray daily for the will power to change…but, I am realizing that I must first address the scars that made me this way. Through posts such as yours, and others that I follow, I know that insight will come and I will find a way to make myself whole….like I have NEVER been before. I know that strength comes from trustworthy support!!! That is the hardest thing to find, but it is out there!!! Thank you for sharing all that you do!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My amazing friend, I know how much strength and courage it takes to even write a message like yours…I’m touched by your words…Sometimes I like to imagine that eating beyond our physical need is like building a shield around us. The problem is that the shield that was meant to protect us, quickly becomes a prison, stopping up from living our lives to the fullest.
      Fighting an eating disorder, or more than one is the fight of a lifetime. I’m speaking from my own experience of fighting nervous anorexia (different from the classic one…you simply cannot eat, food makes you sick and you’re never hungry) then binge eating…and a sugar addiction that’s just as serious as any addiction. I’ve been there…
      Still, I’m stubborn enough to fight and to say it out loud: We are worthy of a good life, a healthy life. We owe it to ourself to never give up. And you, my dearest friend, you’ll set yourself free from your prison. Can’t wait to see that bright smile of yours when you’ll make it through! Till then and beyond you have my support, my love and prayers. Be blessed! And thank you for touching my heart once again.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Sometimes, the simplest things, the ones that should come naturally are the toughest to achieve. To love ourselves means to fully accept that we all have a place and a meaning in this world. It’s hard…so many people are searching for this place and meaning their whole life.
      Thank you for your message, your words are carrying the wisdom and the motivation so needed these days.

      Like

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