Health insurance or love conceptI’m here to give it all to you…

My love and my heart. My life and my destiny. My world and my everything. Every hope, every lost dream, every whispered prayer. Every tear.

Every fantasy of a world full of bright colors. And my everlasting desire for peace. My powers and my strength, along with every lost battle. All yours.

Because I am yours.

Here I am, putting my heart in your hands. You are my safe place. You, who took me into your loving arms when all the walls were tumbling down. You, who took my hand and guided me back home when I got lost. You, who loved the lost, vulnerable, crazy me!

And me…I shouted out so loud! Poisoned words, words of hate, words of anger. Rejection. Frustration. Denial. Pain. You heard them all and you stayed with me. You let me run away and still take me back, every single time.

I fell on my knees, begging for forgiveness and you smiled. You lifted me up, showing me the blue sky. Telling me how much you love me. How deep is your forgiveness and your understanding.

I love You.

And I need to tell you something, because it made me cry. You told me to bring you all my tears and pains. So, here is my story…

The class was almost over when I met him. The little boy with grey eyes and the desert’s sand color in his hair. He looked at me smiling and I felt a cold shiver.

He never smiles. Rarely speaks. Autism, they said…but there’s more. Much more. His smile was mean and he got closer, whispering through his teeth:

“He’s coming after you.”

In a complete lack of tact and inspiration, I just asked who…who’s coming after me…

“Your master. You know him. He’ll take you away. No one can help you.”

And he just ran with the meanest laugh I ever heard…

I was afraid and I shouldn’t have been. I was driven by fear too many times. I’m turning to you now…

It destroyed too many Christmas Eves. I let it take control over me completely and yes, it took me away. Year after year. And no one could help me because there, where I was, no love can survive.

I let it become my master and it played with my soul. I was alone, feeling unloved, unwanted, unsafe.

But here I am now, my Lord, my Christ, my Light…

This is the first year when I’m winning this war. Your love is my shelter.

And this is my prayer…not for me…but for so many people who struggle with an emptiness inside during Christmas time.

Depression was my master until You saved me. Please shine Your Light upon every blue heart, all around the world.

May they feel loved. And may they be free…

Merry Christmas, dear friends!

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36 thoughts on “To be loved and to be free!

      1. A very foggy winter so far, here, we miss the summer. 2018 will be important, a big year, that’s what my intuition predicts. Need to relax and enjoy the calmness as long as we have it 🙂 Merry Christmas from the heart of Transylvania (on the road right now)!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. My grandmother was from Gallatz on the Black sea.
        My parents went to Bucharest a few years ago.
        I would love to go there. I spent a lot of time with my grandmother when I was small. I was her favourite and she was very good to me. Her family came to Australia about 1898.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That’s so nice, Galati is a beautiful town, I’m from Timisoara, in the western part of the country (near Hungary and Serbia) about 800km to Galati. I love to discover how we’re all connected somehow (and I don’t believe in coincidences) 🙂💛

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      4. Merry Christmas 💖💙💕🎅hope things are going well for you. The day is starting here. Connectedness is important. Coincidence doesn’t really occur haphazardly. Merry Christmas ☺😇

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      5. Hope yours goes well. Interesting day today. Home to cook some prawns now. Early appointment tomorrow. Full moon on the 2nd. Definitely things to get on with.
        Merry Christmas 🎅🎅🎅

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Better than I hoped for…mixed feelings, I visited an abandoned medieval church, definitely the best place to stir emotions and feelings. Full moon means another sleepless night for me 🙂 But creativity is high, so I’m looking forward for the full moon. Have a gorgeous Christmas day!

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      7. I hear you. Will be a Cancer full moon. Capricorn new moon will be on the 16th. I like all the history and architecture in Europe. Would love to visit Scandinavia.

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    1. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! You brightened my day with your lovely message, I feel so honored and grateful to have you reading my humble words! Blessings of love and light upon you! And Merry Christmas!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. My desert rose is waiting,
    far across the sea.
    My heart may dare to hope
    that the waiting is for me.
    Though sad and lost and lonely,
    I have my desert rose.
    All life and caring has gone now,
    but it’s her that my heart knows.
    Just a lonely Angel
    who can’t help but share his love.
    There is only one that sees him,
    the desert rose sent from above.
    ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ❤️ Amazingly beautiful…thank you. Thoughts of light and love on your way…You know, people who are born around Christmas, I believe they’re secret angels and their hearts have a special way of touching others hearts through time and space…Happy Birthday, dear friend, you are loved ❤️

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    1. I read your post, it touched my heart…you are braver and stronger than you ever imagined! I’m still struggling a little, not like in the past years, but still, I’m not that joyful as people expect me to be. I guess Christmas will always be a very emotional time for me. I adore your writings too, thank you so much for reading mine and for brightening my day! Merry Christmas, may it be light and love upon every heart!

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  2. Christmas can be a hard time for many people, myself included. My grandson ied 6 years ago and I’ve not cared much for Christmas since then. My cousin’s husband died last year on December 19, this is a sad Christmas for her too.

    I loved what you wrote. My heart hurts for you, but also rejoices greatly because of how Jesus has helped you. What a magnificent God we worship! Merry Christmas.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you with all my heart! Year after year, I kept analyzing the causes of my Christmas depression and I only got deeper into it. That’s because the problem was spiritual and there was no way to get out of it without God’s help. I just needed to be faithful enough and humble enough to ask for help…
      My prayers are with you, have a joyful day and a blessed Christmas!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I, like you, have given everything to the Lord and He has shown me His amazing love. He has taken all my fears away yet I still don’t really believe that anyone would truly love me like in the first part of this post. Maybe one day someone will. Please remember me in your prayers if I’m not being too much trouble.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My brave Roger, people like you are heroes of their own destinies. In spite of so many adversities, you choose to stay strong, to love and to believe. I pray you’ll always stay in light, with an open heart, ready to embrace all the love, friendship, admiration and care I’m sending to you

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