I will blame the full moon for my loss of reason, I will take no responsibility at all. I will assume that I’m too weak to resist, so I wont fight at all. I will let them win. Flames. Temptations. Attractions. Desires. They’ll lead me to the gates of hell and that’s exactly where I need to be.
“Do you want to dance?”
I do and I don’t. His blue eyes are filled with promises of lust and agony. But I can’t dance, I’m too busy running away from myself. I’m going deeper and further into this fire, but still, no one will see the burns. They’re hidden, secret scars, unspoken and unknown.
“Do you want to lay in my arms, here under the starry skies?”
With lazy, seductive gestures, he shows me his own paradise, convinced that, once I’ve seen it, I wont be able to say no. Sweet naivety, you are truly the fools blessing! I’m here searching for the gate to hell! Don’t ask me why am I going there, don’t!
“Or maybe you need someone to talk to…”
Or maybe not, since the effort of quieting the voices inside me left me breathless. I wont even try to be polite, I wont even pretend that I don’t know his true intentions. But he’s not, he’s fake…he doesn’t hold the keys, so I’ll simply walk away with my sarcastic smile.
“Or just a shoulder to cry on…”
Little does he know that my tears dried and my pain is a silent one. And even if he would know, why would he care? A meaningless expression of an impossible friendship. So much compassion and care here, on our way to destruction. Ironic, right? Where the forever flames burn high, there is no time, nor place for tears.
“Do you want to join us?”
Moment of truth. How should I play it? We’re at the gates of hell, surrounded by burning flames and deep temptations. Faith, honor, honesty and friendship mean nothing in here. Care and compassion, love and tolerance are simple words meant to bring us closer…
There’s only one way. With the sweetest smile and the gentlest voice, soft moves and a polite approach.
“Full moon brought me here and I was too weak to resist…”
“That’s good, we love your fragility.”
“Will you open the gates of hell for me? Just once? Please…”
“Because you know…flames always hypnotized me, just like your eyes. To dance in the flames, to let them burn the very last trace of light…I need you to open the gates for me…because maybe I’m just too weak…to do it myself.”
The yellowed eyes demon smiles. His arrogance is my advantage. He opens the gates of hell for me, at the right time…
…to grab her by her reaching arms and to pull her out. Out of the hell.
Sometimes it’s not enough…
To just stay in a safe place, on a green hill, surrounded by golden light.
Sometimes, a cry for help comes straight from hell. Addiction, abuse, depression, eating disorder, suicide attempts, obsession…Call it as you chose. I will call them hell.
And I will cross the bridge to get there. In the heart of their agonizing pain.
The deep burning scars I’m getting…I guess I’m just blessed…
God heals me every time.