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I thought we’re more when we were less…

His eyes are like water, they change color depending on who’s disturbing their clarity. He’s smiling and the greenest waves of passion are flowing from these eyes I only begun to know, into mine. He’s smiling because of my foolishness.

Still, today we wont do our silly routines of chatting about small things. Today I am sad. See, being a dreamer has its costs, but who am I to protest? Who am I to demand or to even ask him to play it my way…

Who am I to see more behind his watery eyes?

Who am I to trouble the clarity of his untouched dream? Just because…

I took my masks off a moment too early and it was awkward. My anguishes, my fears, my demons, my world! Who gave me the right to create this freak show in front of him? This wasn’t in the script! This wasn’t in his perfect fantasy! So now I’m facing the shame…

I proved myself to be unworthy of his trust. Hey, what’s new? Is not like it would be the first time…when I’m blinded by my ridiculous faith in people. Kindness will be rewarded with kindness and trust will be honored through honesty. Really?

Of course not. I was only kidding. Relax, we’re best buddies. Oh, kidding again! What a weird sense of humor!

I watched him leaving and it was a bitter-sweet feeling. I cried a little, then I remembered that you cannot lose something you never had. And I did something…I gave him a fortune cookie with one single line on it. A question. He’ll read it in the privacy of his happy home.

“Why do you call yourself an Eagle if you just stay there, locked into such a tiny cage?”

No more of that, I promise. I was lured into the danger of believing we’re friends. Not anymore. But I have to admit it…he role-played it perfectly. No hard feelings about that.

Be brave, fearful eagle! Who knows what you might find behind your own mask…

And be happy. For real.

 

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12 thoughts on “Lured into the danger…

  1. Oh my sweet friend…. our faith in people is not a ridiculous notion. True, to some degree we should keep ourselves somewhat guarded…You will always be worthy of anyone’s trust…. Somehow, I feel I know the truth behind this today…. Kindness is rewarded with kindness…and trust is earned through loyalty. Those are both true. For those of us that have an over-caring nature…it is so easy to get so involved with those we try so hard to help. That is always going to be a downfall for us….but, it make us who we are!! Have faith in yourself dear Claudia…. Know that your golden heart is a safe haven for many!!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh, my dearest Sharon, I know the empath in you saw it right through…I lost a friend, only to realize that we were never friends. And, maybe with getting older, maybe my feeling of loneliness, but it affect me more than I thought. Writing this letter was therapeutic, don’t know how it will be for him to read it, let’s hope it’ll turn out to be one of those lessons of life…to make us stronger and braver. I strongly believe that, without a little trust, friendship is nothing but a castle of sand…
      Thank you, my wonderful friend, having you as my friend is a blessing and a gift. Be blessed!

      Like

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