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He asked me “How’s life?” like we would be best buddies, like our paths would have never separate, like he wouldn’t know a thing about the abyss he pushed me into.

So I did what I know best: I smiled and kept my head up.

“Life’s good, like any life. Good days and bad days. Busy days mostly.”

A woman is strong by nature. Weakness, fragility, vulnerability and teary eyes…they’re out of my league. So he is. And the only regret concerns my broken illusions.

“Are you okay?” he said, but I sense no worries in his tone of voice.

“Of course I’m okay, thank you for asking. How about you?”

“I’m good, thanks.”

He’s not good, even if, for a long time, I believed in him. I thought I see a light surrounding him, like he would be an angel. I even imagined that, somehow, God speaks to me through his voice. He’s not a good person, I’m not a good reader.

He has no idea about love, I have no clue about people. End of story.

But life…oh, I know about life.

Life after love is bitter-sweet. Is a constant battle between a normal feeling of anger/pain/rejection/sadness and the joyful contemplation of a feeling so beautiful, so special and pure: love.

And love was there, in my soul, by the grace of God, not by the mercy of a man. I loved him because my heart was ready to blossom, not because of his poisoned poetry.

I loved him because I needed to love. I felt beautiful, I felt complete, my faith grew stronger and my wings reached to the starry sky. My only mistake was to believe that all these miracle were because of him. So when he took away his attention/poetry/lies I was so lost…

So lonely, so sad…(I called Heaven many times, asking about my “angel”)

But now, seeing him in front of me, I feel no pain. I guess I finally understood.

“Life after love is pretty good.”

“Excuse me?” (oh yes, let’s play pretend, let’s say you don’t understand my English)

“Well…you’ll never know, ’till you’ll try it.”

“What?”

“Love, of course. So you’d know how life feels after…”

“I can’t take this anymore.”

“Ohhh, I’m sorry, I forgot! You’re only a shadow. You don’t have life because you cannot feel love. Well, then…”

Feel free to vanish! 

 

 

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26 thoughts on “Life after love…

  1. My friend… I feel the pain of life after love. It is oblivious to the anguish we go through. Sometimes we can only hold together so much before we have to say…enough is enough! Holding onto something that makes one so miserable is truly no way to live. Know that you are in my thoughts every day. And I pray for you constantly that you may find inner peace that you desperately deserve.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you my amazing Sharon! Life after love is also filled with gratitude and deep care for every friend, for every word of kindness. You are a treasure and a wonderful support for me, be blessed! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for saying that. Been a long drive to where I am right now. Time to lock down a few fixtures and dance the old steps.
        I very much like the cut of a few jibs on this ocean. Angels sometimes communicate through coincidence 🎲

        Liked by 1 person

  2. There’s a big truth in your words, dearest… Most of the time, we love because we love the idea of love, and we think this is about/inside someone who is “special” to us… the disappointment comes when we realise it’s not. Actually it’s a good point, because our inner love can flourish elsewhere, but we stik to falses ideas… I don’t know if I make any sense to you…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You make a lot of sense, that’s exactly what I tried to express. To love someone is a gift we give ourselves mostly. Life after love is a moment of realization that our hearts will blossom again, when the right time comes. And this brings so much gratitude and peace…Thank you for your words and for truly understanding! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Your message touched my heart, thank you! I believe that it was meant for me to fall into this black hole, in order to appreciate real light and real love. It made me stronger, that’s for sure. Many blessings upon you!

      Like

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