Bas teri yaad

She’s dancing with the man I love. With my man. And I’m helpless when it comes to love stories, but I’ll write this anyway! From the bottom of my stormy heart.

It started with her sweet melody, alluring him to sing along. First he laughed: “Come on, I’m not a child anymore, silly little songs mean nothing to me!” but then he listened and his heart understood the message.

“Isn’t it sweet, isn’t it gentle and so calming…her voice through the leafs?” 

I tried to stop him, but I was myself a leaf in the wind. My sin was clear and this was my punishment, for I was nothing but a storm in his life! So I had to let him go…

Insidious and sneaky, she whispered allusive words into his ears. Words I should have said, but now they were strange and new, foreign and impossible to pronounce. He looked away, consumed by guilt, fog in his eyes, only the message was crystal clear: “Just for one moment…dance…embrace…just one…and then back to you, back to…us”.

And he never waited for my response! Muted and ignored, I blamed her for the salty taste on my lips. I wanted to hate her, but then again…I never saw him so careless and free…with me.

She touched his face, kissing that little place near his upper lip. He wanted more, he needed to be devoured by this thirst! Their dance became a game of surrender…to desire and lust, to ecstasy and euphoria! It became pain and pleasure, fever and tenderness, torment and heaven! Life itself seemed to take a standing ovation, in the face of this forbidden beatitude!

And I was feeling small and lost, screaming inside me, biting my lips ’till blood and tears were one and the same! ‘Till my scream became a wild flame, calling him back!

“That was great, you should try it too one day! Let’s go home now, dear…”

Is it a crueler torture than to see him defeated? Settling for less than he’s yearning for?

It isn’t…

He came back, but his skin had the taste of her kisses. His hair was ravished by her fingers. His heart was still singing her sweet, gentle melody…

Ever since that day, I cursed the rain! The calm, comforting, relaxing, blissful, warm rain! I hated it with everything in me! For she was closer than I’ll ever be…

…to the man I love.




I’ve found this image at:


9 thoughts on “Closer than I’ll ever be…

  1. From a guy’s perspective it’s so easy to be lured in by a good looking lady in the right (or wrong) circumstance and to forget about: the consequences, the one he is meant to love, the one who loves him. After too many wrong decisions I have finally learnt to wait and The Lord has found me the most amazing, wonderful lady who words fail me to describe. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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