rose-640443_960_720Go to hell! he told me without knowing…

The place is filled with a sweet golden light and I instinctively open my arms to embrace a cold sunset…An empty star shines upon me, coloring my tears in indigo shadows.

Our songs with cruel and hypocrite lyrics played on repeat and, no matter how I try, they’re scratching the surface of this icy-still heart again and again…until something breaks inside me…completely and for ever.

Pictures in my mind, brief moments when we laughed, embraces we never knew how to treasure, how to keep…and I wish I could be blind to their beauty, because this torture is more than I could ever bear.

Labyrinths of pain and loneliness, my wild dances, our whispered promises, a future I’ll never have…’cause I’m insane and broken and lost…

Because he said it in a deafening silence…and my soul heard him…

Go to hell! he told me without knowing

I’m already there.

 

 

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19 thoughts on “Already there

      1. Yes, the lack of noticing is what cuts the sharpest.

        I’m not sure if you ever do blogger awards, but I decided to nominate you for a Sunshine Blogger Award. The beauty and raw honesty of your posts really inspires me!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thank you! I’m honored by your words, you always brighten my day!
        The nomination means a lot, I don’t usually do this (the lack of time is the biggest issue) but I just wanted you to know that I feel blessed to have you here, and deeply touched by your kindness! 🙏♥️

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Love in your heart, love in your soul,
    sometimes love takes its deadly toll.
    Our Lord is good and He will find,
    a love that only He can bind.
    Forgive my somewhat cryptic poem, these things have a habit of coming to me though. Remember that you cannot be separated from God’s love.
    My thoughts are with you always. ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much! I’ve spend so many years fighting anxiety, in so many ways and, even when I thought I won, the “victory” felt empty.
      So now I embrace this part of me, like a wound that needs care, and I lean my hopes on the greatest Healer.
      Thank you for being here, you brightened my day and my heart!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure❤ I live with Complex PTSD and I have spent the past 10 years healing but more deeply in the last 10 months, I had a spiritual awakening. I can now see the beauty within darkness, my shadow self. God reveals more in time and on and on forever reconnecting us to our original spirit and purpose. It’s a glorious thing. Full of ebbs and flows, hills and valleys and highs and lows. It’s connecting with like minded souls who understand this that gives life color and meaning ❤

        Liked by 1 person

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