When love was nothing but a battle cry

3524484971_a524f481d3_bDo you like this fragrance of smoke in my hair?

I wrote you a thousand letters and, with each one of them, I loved you a little more. Sweet lines with bitter meanings and big words with senseless metaphors, yet, you forgave my lack of judgement in each and every promise I made. You tried to decipher the empty spaces, unaware that the key is buried deep inside me.

Do you like when my eyes are changing from green to fire-bright carnelian?

I wrote you a million poems and, when rhymes faded away, I used my tears to paint a proper ending to my endless questions. You were the hero and I was your muse, you saved the world and I was saving you, you got the glory, I got insecure. I failed again, this pain has no rhythm, it’s blank and white and cruel!

Do you like the warmth of my hands on your body?

I wrote you a love song, inspired by the way you’re undressing my shivering soul, leaving me naked and ashamed in the spotlight. You listened and asked for more of this passionate, self-destructive desire. You loved the harmony in my whispers and you wanted me to teach you how to play. Guitar, violin, piano, my heart…you played them beautifully. Then, bored and lonely, you deleted my song from your playlist.

Do you like my slow, sensual dances under the moonlight?

I wrote you a made-up story about the boy on the moon who saved the sad girl from falling. I sent you a page every day, so that you could add some more drama, some more mystery. Some more love…I saw you laughing, changing the lines, breaking and cutting the thin wire I was hanging on to. You asked for a realistic script.

My love, reality lies broken under my burnt feet and no one wins. Your love was nothing but a battle cry in this war of hearts, my hero. Don’t cry, my boy-from-the-moon, no one will break me anymore…

I wrote a thousand letters and I set them on fire.

This was supposed to heal me, but, instead, I fell in love with the ashes…

 

 

The title was inspired by Tom Neuwirth’s song “Heroes” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puRPBdZPfi8

I found the image at: http://www.flickriver.com/photos/nuvan_buet/3524484971/

 

 

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The right words, at the right time…

girl-flirtingI see you looking at me a little surprised and the amusement in your eyes is the sexiest thing  I ever saw! We’re both laughing, so this is the perfect moment when, apparently by accident, you’ll touch my bare shoulders, sending a wave of emotions through my body. I’ll bite my bottom lip and I’ll play with a rebel lock of hair that (conveniently) falls over my eyes. You already want to kiss me, but you’ll have to wait…

You pretend that my blushed cheeks went unnoticed, but I know better! I always knew you better than any one of them. And they were many! They passed through your bedroom and stayed in your arms for as long as attraction and excitement lasted…while my words will stay for ever!

You’re telling me stories about how she played you for a fool, about your broken ego. I’m ready to take you in my arms, creating a shelter for your heart…I’m reassuring you, again and again, that life is unfair and people are bad. And you are magnificent! And you deserve more. You deserve me!

Someone loves you deeply and passionately and that someone is standing right here, with eyes filled with promises…It’s okay if you’re afraid of commitment, I’m afraid too! It’s alright if you cannot be loyal, I’ll be for both of us! It’s fine if you’re not completely honest, that’s a risk you cannot take these days! Just be here, with me, just be!

And now you want to know about my life, so I search in my bag of memories, the most interesting stories, the most captivating adventures. The ones that’ll put me in the best light. Fragile, but yet, so strong! Romantic, but yet, so reliable! Innocent, but yet, so wise!

Yes, it’s me that you’re looking for! And I’m here, for you, to fulfill this empty place with my love. I’m here to give you all that you were denied of, ever since you opened your eyes to this cruel world. Love me…

What’s this silence between us? I had so many things to tell you…Why did my lips stayed sealed? I planned the perfect scenario, you were supposed to fall for me…Why was I just standing still, while you kept bragging about the blonde one, about the skinny one, about the perfect one! I thought it’s meant to be! Wasn’t it?

I guess I’ll just take my imaginary kisses and my unspoken words and use them more wisely next time! May all your girlfriends turn into crooked witches with gigantic brooms!

You turn to me with a shocked expression on your perfect face. Oh, my goodness! I must have said it out loud!

 

I found the image at: http://98palms.com/is-she-really-flirting-with-you/

The title is inspired by the song “Baby can I hold you” by Tracy Chapman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nW9fTvU0vs

 

 

I’ve been a liar…

Online-dating-and-online-marketing

-Hey, you’re on line?! It’s 4 in the morning, what’s up with you?

-Nothing, just couldn’t sleep…(I was hoping, praying that you’ll notice me, because I can’t, I simply can’t go on like this…)

-So, how are you?

-I’m great, thank you. And you? (I’m not okay…this obsession for you is taking control over my life…and I go to sleep imagining your arms around me…and I wake up missing you. Oh, God, how I miss you!)

-I’m great too. Remember that girl I’ve been dating?

-Yep (that bitch, ugly, controlling, bitch!)

-Well, we broke up…

-Oh, no! What happen? (Yeeeyyyyy!!! I hope you hate her now!)

-Just too much fighting and she called me “a heartless idiot”. She said I’m a sociopath and other nasty things…

-That’s so unfair of her! You are not heartless! And you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met! (See? I’m better than her! I would treat you so much better!)

-Right. And a sociopath? I couldn’t understand where that came from.

-A sociopath, really?! Who gave her a diploma in psychiatry? I’m telling you: you are NOT a sociopath! (maybe a little, but that makes you even hotter!)

-Of course. I blocked her on Facebook.

-Yeah, you did right, she was disrespecting you…(I would respect you, treat you like a king, love you like you’re the last man on earth…can’t you see that?)

-Anyway, now I’m dating a chick…omg…a lawyer. Don’t know, but I always had a sort of fetish for this type of chicks, lol

-That’s nice…(I’m devastated…)

-Sex is great, we’re like rabbits! I mean, really, for hours! She’s exactly what I need, we’re like the perfect fit.

-I’m happy for you two (I just hate you right now! And her! I can’t wait for her to break your heart, oh, how happy I’ll be!)

-How about you?

-What about me? (Don’t you dare asking, I’m mad as hell!)

-Still single?

-Yes, I decided to stay single for a while, it’s better for me…(You, idiot! No one wants me, okay? Satisfied? ‘Cause guess what! I’m not interesting enough and sexy enough! And I’m not a lawyer! And I don’t f… like a rabbit! OMG, what you made me say, shame on you!)

-Well, if you get bored and you wanna go out…hey, wanna go dancing? There’s a new club…

-I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…(I don’t need your pity! But please, please say it’s a good idea…just push a little…I want to believe that you care for me…)

-Probably not. Wow, time flies when I chat with you!

-Isn’t it? (That means that you like me, maybe more than you’re willing to accept?)

-Yeah…

-…(I’m boring you! God, how obvious can it be!)

-…

-I should be going to sleep…(please stop me, I’m going to spend the night crying and listening to love songs…)

-Okay pretty, Nighty night!

-I…I…always enjoy chatting with you, I hope you know…And when you don’t write…I…I kinda miss you…(You called me pretty! You think I’m beautiful! I’m so happy now…oh God, I almost told you the truth! That I’m madly in love with you…)

-LOL…okay, pretty, me too. Sleep tight, I’ll log off…

We find so many ways to fool our hearts. To repeat the lies until we cannot recognize the truth anymore. Have you ever been a liar? Because I was.

And maybe I still am.

 

 

 

I found the image at: https://www.vrmintel.com/marketing-strategy-like-tinder-match-com/