Hey, little pigeon…

a8952913b7ffd282a36f978304334867Tell me about the place you’re flying to, it must be so beautiful! You have the wings of an angel, my little friend…could they carry me over the blue horizons? I really miss the love now…

Come, sweet little pigeon, come closer to my heart, this story I’m about to tell is not for fragile souls! Innocent eyes…could they see inside me, would they forgive the light turned into darkness? I really want to believe now…

Precious little wonder, have you ever lost yourself into a blossomed garden? Mesmerized by the perfume of paradise, charmed by the rose’s smile in the gentle breeze…you just stay there, praying it’ll last forever. Were you ever in love?

Ever dancing with the golden rays that cradled your whispers? Ever kissing the traces of light when the sky is raining upon you with petals of gold? Ever feeling your heart bursting in million little pieces, all carrying a love you’d call eternal?

And if you ever knew this kind of light, and if you ever lived this kind of happiness, and if you ever loved this strong…

…what would you do if the blossomed flowers would die under the cruel gaze of a careless sun?

…if the garden of paradise would turn into dark and that’s not even a damnation you could fight with…it’s just…home…

…and if eternity is just an empty feeling, a hollowing pain of something so rare and precious, for ever lost…

What would you do, sweet little pigeon, with a love so deep and powerful, so secret and unfulfilled that it will eventually murder you?

Hey, little pigeon, where are you flying to? please stay…why is the light in you fading away, why is your brave heart weakening…is it me? Don’t…my angel…just don’t…

…don’t drink the salty water pouring from my eyes, sweet little bird, I never meant to be your poison…

 

 

I found the image at: https://ro.pinterest.com/pin/59672763798557691/activity/tried

 

 

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Eternity in blue

stargazing-for-kids

If life is just a journey, I guess we both got wrong,

Just sitting by each other when wind and rain got strong.

We should have run together, to find where we belong!

To realize the meanings of our endless song…

 

If people are just dreamers, I guess we both are mad,

‘Cause words that used to heal me, are making me so sad…

When all I feel is nonsense and all you say is bad,

Your judgement and my sentence – that’s all you need to add…

 

If world is just a staging, I guess we both are brave,

I’m acting like my heart is not an empty cave…

And you pretend your love was more than just a wave!

But here we are still trying when nothing’s left to save…

 

If love is just illusion, I guess we both are weak,

We carry on by hoping for something so unique,

Love letters turned to candles inside our hearts to keep

Such perfect words of kindness, but we refuse to speak!

 

If faith is just a symbol, I guess we both are dying…

If love is just illusion, then why do we keep trying?

If world is just a staging, then were you only lying?

If people are just dreamers, why did we learned the flying?

If life is just a journey, when will we stop denying

 

This pain that burns inside me?…this is my only truth…

The reason I’m still living eternity in blue…

Even if life’s not worthy, I choose to be with you.

 

 

 

 

I found the image at: https://www.rocksforkids.com/stargazing-for-kids/

 

 

 

 

 

Just one beat away…

4435875152_e256aa76e0_oI feel your eyes on my bare shoulders, the royal blue of your gaze…gently undressing my soul, until I’m left hopelessly, shamelessly naked inside…

I feel you watching my every step, even if my path is so well known to both of us…my knees get weak as I realize that I almost…got lost…I almost walked away from you…

I feel your hands caressing the cold surface of your window…imagining it’s my skin, your fingers squeezing the red curtains, as if you would try to deny a sin we’re so close to commit…

You always hide, but I feel you…

Behind your walls, you stop me from running…the strength of your hands and the tremble of my fingers…I want you here and, yet, I wish you were still there, in the shadows.

The cold royal blue of your eyes, burns me deep…I wish I could scream my pain, but tears flow so quietly, so peacefully in my inner storm! This is unnatural, this is absurd…this is insane!

But if I’m crazy, tell me…are you my healer? My reward for all the wasted years? Is it the right time to confess my crime? Because the woman in me is long gone and I forgot when…and how…and who killed her.

I close my eyes, waiting to be sentenced.

No…not like this…

With infinite tenderness, you touch my lips…and I feel your desire. More than anything, you need me to stop the words. The inner dialogue that hurts me, wounds me, kills me! And I will, some day. Now I’m only gasping for air…help me! Please guide me and show me how it feels to breath…for I never knew.

I feel your eyes on my naked soul and I feel safe…if it burns, we will burn together. And then…we will be alright. My stalker, my watcher, my love…I think I’m falling too…

 

 

 

I found the image at: https://imgday.com/page/1857/

 

I hope you will remember me…

img_5580When only hell is welcoming your soul,

That’s when it hurts to know that you’re a light…

“It’s not my fault, I lost control!”

So you already give up on your fight.

 

When pain and tears are overcoming  love,

That’s when you’re slowly burning in the acid rain…

“I cannot pray, there’s nothing up above!”

So you decide that life is all in vain.

 

When He is here, but you are just too blind…

That’s when forgiveness seems so far away…

“I feel too hurt, too angry to be kind!”

So you pretend is just another day.

 

You hear the words, but they mean nothing more…

Than just a silly, simple song or rhyme…

“I’m not a hero, nor a warrior!”

So you say love is just a waste of time.

 

That’s when I’ll be a mirror for your light

For all the love that will no longer die!

For every moment when you cannot fight,

I’ll cry for you when you’re too blind to cry.

 

Please…keep this foolish heart of mine…

‘Cause even if you lost its key,

I’ll love you ’till the end of time!

Don’t say it wasn’t meant to be!

When pain is deeper than the salty sea…

I hope you will remember me…

I pray you will remember me…

 

 

 

 

 

I found the image at: http://www.iecavkrasti.lv/eng/letter-from-sea/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For you too…

resilience_introI know you cried too.

The rain carried your burning tears so they would meet mine. We need to cry together more often…I whispered in the hollowing wind and I know…

I know you heard me.

It took me too long, again, and it felt like failing. Why do our most powerful feelings need so much time to turn into words?

It took me too long to reach out my hands to you. To embrace the space between us, defying distance, time, odds…history.

I know you felt it too. My arms around you.

We see the world through different eyes and, yet, our hearts bled together for the same cause. That’s all it takes. You are my family, as I am yours, united by an unbreakable bond.

Faith. We speak different languages and, yet, when my prayers stopped, you continued with yours. When my voice got weak, you raised yours, and when I blamed the sky for all the tragedy of this hopeless world…that’s when you asked for forgiveness.

In my name too…

We see the world through different veils, some chosen, some imposed. I would wear yours in a blink of the eye, if that would save me from my own! I would cover my face if that would guarantee the uncovering of my heart. But this would never happen…

And you know it too.

east-attacks-sri-lankaPeople. Religion. Churches. They build them just to take them down! They would gladly use their guns and bombs and pride…to set our souls on fire. They did it, they’ll do it again…while you and me, we learn to be more than innocent bystanders.

I know you fight too! For my cause too…

My friend…my brother…my sister…the things that unite us are stronger than hate. Even if we both need to close our eyes, in order to see each other’s hearts…That’s already a little, perfect miracle! Now take my hand, I’m here with you, willing to believe!

For you too…Because, now, we all became survivors!

 

 

 

 

The source of the images: https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2018/02/science-resilience-what-are-ingredients-help-people-cope

Deadly Attacks in Sri Lanka Target Luxury Hotels and Churches

 

Confession

red-alerts-for-girls

“I have a secret to tell, please hear my confession. It’s about a sin I committed, it’s heavier than any burden I ever carried, darker than any nightmare I ever collapsed into, sinister and horrible…Please hear my confession…

I did it, Father…

I did it for the first time. 

I did it today, in the dark. 

There were no stars, only clouds above me. Did you know that, when the night settles in, the clouds become ghostly? And I’m usually afraid of ghosts. Not this time…

I was not afraid. My first time was not fearful, I did it passionately, angrily, thirsty for more. And once I was done, I wanted to start all over again! Again! More! Deeper! The hunger in me killed any common sense, every trace of shame.

It was not painful. Now I wish it would have been. Now it is. It hurts, Father. It hurts so deep, on so many levels, that the pain suffocates me and I feel my soul dying. Don’t let me die, Father…

I had a sense of pride at the sight of my blood. Small traces, nothing too dramatic. Red. Hot. Alive. My blood was my living proof that I am pure. And strong. I a more. More than an empty shell.

Father, who am I when I can’t recognize myself in the mirror? 

I did it today and no one knows. It felt good, too good. And, Father, I did not tell You the worse!

It felt normal.

And I don’t know if I want forgiveness. There are sins that need no absolution. I need more and I need different. So I pray…

for someone to notice (please, see my scars!)

for someone to care (please, ask me what’s wrong!)

for someone to tell me that I’m still worthy of love…(please, say that you love me!)

Even if I did it. Today, for the first time. 

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I cut myself today.”

 

 

 

I found the image at: http://www.adorethelife.com/5-red-alerts-advising-you-are-in-love-with-the-wrong-man/

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dark corners (Who is this girl?)

sad-girl-cracked-mirror

Who is this girl starring at me?

Her eyes – deep butterflies hidden into the cliffs of the unknown.

Her skin – pale like the moonlight in a starless sky.

Her hair – clothing for skinny, bare, tired shoulders.

She is not well…

 

Who is this girl who never smiles back?

I see the corners of her mouth slowly lifting the irony of a fake smile.

They always seem to hurt, they always appear as false,

Her lies, reflected in the corners of her red berry lipstick

She is not honest…

 

Who is this girl crying inside?

She’s carrying a long lost love, killed by her favorite hero.

Through pain she learned that ashes burn deeper than fire!

That tears cannot feed a hungry heart!

She is not in love…no more in love…

 

Who is this girl giving up all the fighting?

Knowing damn well about the war she’s loosing with every step back!

Running from the beast trying to conquer her soul…

Fight back, girl, fight back!

She is not peaceful, nor in peace…

 

Who is this girl starring at me

From the dark corners of my memories?

Who is this girl in the mirror?

 

 

I found the image at: https://airfreshener.club/quotes/girl-mirror-looks-sadly.html

 

 

 

Don’t wanna start another fire…

fire_breather

Her eyes are blue like the sunny sky, they’re sparkling when we talk about love, but her voice remains so calm and controlled…a sweet melody that never reaches the peak. Silly words, made to be whispered into the oblivious wind, words that bring tears and ignite hurricanes. Please, she trembles, I don’t want to start another fire…

She will always choose to remain silent.

People are walking by, complimenting the weather outside, like it would be a creation of our hearts. In time, they became so skilled in ignoring the inner storms! Behind our painted masks, we’re lashing at each other, unable to expose our true self.

So she’ll never cry in front of a stranger.

Her refuge is her church, her church is her heart, but her heart has sealed the door, so that no one can come in. I’m staying at the front gates, wondering if she’ll ever notice my rebellion. I’m staying and I’m talking about love. The same love that was once promised and then denied, once expressed and then silenced! The love that turns me into a rebel.

And I wish she would be a rebel too.

Faith and inner peace, that’s what they saw in her. Submission, that’s what they love about her. No one ever asked her what is it that she loves about herself?

She couldn’t answer anyway!

Let’s talk about the flowers he never filled your arms with!

Let’s dream about the long walks on the beach he never took you to!

Let’s imagine the tenderness he always forgot to show you!

What are these sparkles in your eyes? Do I see tears?

People are walking by, complimenting the weather, it’s like this warmth they all love to talk about comes from the sun. “Why are you crying through such a lovely day?” they ask her, and I’ll be her voice this time.

Just let her cry, she needs these tears! See, she opened the front gates of her heart. It’s her church and it’s her refuge! And now there’s a fire inside…

Just let her tears fueling the burning flames. Until there’s nothing left inside! So she could build a new heart…and a new love.

 

 

 

I found the image at: http://markbrodinsky.com/soul-on-fire-its-just-about-life/

 

When you kissed me and stopped me from shaking…

ijunoon_Fantasy-Girl-1153129The boy with bright eyes was standing there, in the enchanted forest, looking away every time I tried to meet his gaze. He was the one I knew from every dream, the one who held me through every fantasy. The one who’s love was pure and generous, maybe too innocent for this wild world.

I went to him, every step bringing back memories of words I shouldn’t have said, promises I shouldn’t have made, every step towards him brings me back home. My long white dress was trembling in the wind, or were my shoulders shaking under the weight of this unspoken truth?

Because once I’ll look into his eyes, I cannot lie anymore, I cannot walk away or pretend he doesn’t exist…not anymore. And there’s a special kind of embrace, that belongs to us, our safe place, our bridge to Heaven. I will not stumble, not this time, I hear myself saying, and it almost sounds like a new promise…

-Do you remember when you first kissed me? You gave me wings…

-We never kissed…

-We did, in my dream! It was an eternity ago, when I was still dreaming…

-And now…

-Now we have the eternity…

-But you are shaking…

-I just…it’s you…

-Me…

-Your eyes…much too bright for the darkness I’m walking into…

-Don’t be afraid, you are safe!

-I know, it’s you that I’m scared for…

The boy with bright eyes knew all along that his light comes from a place of miracles and, one day, he will return home. Will I be there too? Will we be there together?

Will he remember a kiss that never happened, but, still, it saved me?

We’re clinging to memories we create only in our imagination, we survive by the hope of all the healing hugs we may never share. We’re dangerously close to a world of miracles, a place beyond human understanding.

We live as angels in each other’s Heaven…

 

 

 

I found the image at: https://www.ijunoon.com/search/number%20girl/?page=7

 

Is there anyone out there?

canary-birds-indoor-hazards“Anyone at all?” she asked in a broken voice, but only the falling leafs seemed to answer to her calling. They flew around her, swirling and giggling in the wind’s turmoil. She was never that lonely, nor that eager to run into someone’s arms. Anyone’s arms…

She was a runaway, like so many others before her. Little birds, escaping golden cages, brave little creatures who craved for more than crumbles, they needed the rain and the rainbow, the sun and the lightnings, the love and the passion of being free!

This little bird always considered her story as being boring, common and flat. Nothing to complain about in her perfect little world. Nothing to dream about, for she never truly knew her needs and her desire. Hunger and thirst, cold and heated, desperate and euphoric…those were notions she only knew theoretically…

In a perfectly round cage, safety is a sure thing. That’s how her masters used to say and she learned gratitude by heart! That’s what kept her away the cold, dangerous, tormented, real world outside. She would never ask if she’s free to fly.

Freedom? Of course she’s free! Can’t you see that I never locked her in? Can’t you find the open door, sweet little bird? But she was violently shaking her little head in the palm of her keeper. NO! No open door would ever be more alluring than his fingers gently caressing her silky feathers.

So he acted neglectful and she became restless. Not only the little door of her golden cage, but also the big window of the his golden home…how many temptations is a little heart doomed to repress? If the enemy’s out there, in the big, wild world…then how come she’s so sad and lonely, right here, inside?

It was not the hand that fed her, it was not him to blame for this outcome…

It’s the eye that stopped seeing her beauty, it’s the ear that stopped hearing her songs, it’s the heart that stopped beating in the same rhythm as hers.

“Anyone at all? Anyone to love with everything in me? Anyone to care  for this crazy little bird? Just someone…anyone…”

She was just a runaway who, like so many others before her, disappeared under the starry sky. And we’ll never know…

if she found anyone at all…

or she went into the unknown, hungry and exhausted…

if she ever found her way back home…

or she just found an escape from the big wild cage we call REAL world…

if someone loved her to her last moments…

or another hunter loved to have in her a different kind of pray.

But there’s one thing I’m sure about: She wont be the last little bird who’s replacing an illusion for another. You, little bird, just like me, with struggling hearts, desperately kicking the walls of our golden cages…freedom…what an impossible dream…what a misfortune…

it’s in our human nature to fulfill it!

 

 

I found the image at: https://www.picturesboss.com/pictures/canary-bird-flying-0c.html